Family Pregnancy

Time to Talk – mental health

Today is national Time to Talk Day – the aim is to get people talking about mental health and to keep these conversations going. According to the Time to Change Website 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem each year. Too many people feel there is a stigma attached to mental health problem and they keep it bottled up. The aim of Time to Talk is to do just that, get people talking, offer support and remove the stigma. With statistics showing that so many people are affected by mental health problems the chances are that you know someone affected and you could be the difference they need.

Post Natal Depression – my struggle

Mental health problems affect people in many different ways. In 2007 my first son was born when I was 24 years old. Nothing really prepares you for being a mum but I didn’t expect what happened next. I think the problems started even before Will was born. If I’m honest I wasn’t happy but couldn’t really articulate how I felt. The midwifes came around to talk to me about ‘baby blues’ in hospital but I told them what they wanted to hear. I was exhausted I’d just given birth and my emotions were all over the place.

At my worst I had some horrible thoughts. I thought Will was going to fall out of a window and die whilst I was in hospital, but pushed this to the back of my mind. When we got home things got worse I didn’t know what I was doing and didn’t want to be left alone with the baby. I cried at my husband when he would leave for work in the morning and beg him not to go. It really came to a head in week 3, I asked my husband to make the call to whoever would come and take the baby away. This was a turning point and he realised I needed help.

What helped me

I was lucky I got the help I needed, I was given anti depressants which really helped me. I also had the support of my family. There was a counsellor at my doctors surgery I could talk to and the health visitors also gave me a lot of support. At the time I felt like an awful mother, who doesn’t want to be around her baby? In reality I was very lonely, I was the first of my friends to have kids and I felt alone and isolated. Going to baby groups helped to get me out of the house and after a few months I was able to start feeling normal.

Since having two further children I realise just how much I missed out on with Will. It took a lot longer to build that bond with him. In fact one of the reasons we had Ben so quickly after Will was that I felt I had to prove I could do it ‘right’. I now know there is no ‘right’ way to parent a baby.

Time to talk

I felt ashamed when I had Will at how much I struggled. If only more people talked about how hard it is to have a baby and how lonely it can be. I felt like a failure for a long time. I’m happy to share my story as I want other women to know they aren’t alone. If we all talk about it we can help each other.

Since having Darcey last year I had a bit of a blip, nothing serious but I wasn’t happy. I don’t know why, I had everything in the world I could ever want but I was just sad. Again I talked to my husband and friends and got through it. It was no where near as bad as when I had Will and I didn’t need to take any medication. I took time out from blogging and just took things easy last summer until I felt like ‘me’ again.

So please share, please talk about it. Please reach out and offer support to friends, family and colleagues. You could be the difference.

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17 Comments

  • Reply Jenni

    This is something that should be talked about a lot more and its great you are raising awareness
    Jenni recently posted…Living arrows #5My Profile

    February 6, 2017 at 10:47 am
  • Reply Sarah Nichols

    such a honest and lovely post to write hun, thanks for sharing it with us. I myself also suffered from PND with my first and it carried on right into toddler years. It can be a hard thing to ask for help with as there is a kind of stigma around it, or atleast you (me) felt there was. People shouldn’t feel like that though, as to be honest it is a lot more common than people think. Mental health in general is. x

    February 5, 2017 at 11:45 pm
  • Reply Clare nicholas

    Well done for speaking out. It’s important to normalise these topics so people aren’t ashamed to seek the help they need

    February 5, 2017 at 9:39 am
  • Reply Kara

    PND is so hard isn’t it. It took me a long time to realise that something was not right and to get help. Well done on speaking out
    Kara recently posted…Silent Sunday – 5th February 2017My Profile

    February 5, 2017 at 8:49 am
  • Reply Anosa

    It must be a dark and lonely place not being able to share with people around us or professionals because we are afraid of being labelled. But glad you got to talk to someone and hope this encourages other people to do the same
    Anosa recently posted…Five Things Week 15 #HelloFebruaryMy Profile

    February 4, 2017 at 7:30 pm
  • Reply Emma

    How brave of you to share your story and be so open and honest like that. The only way to combat these things is to talk about it and most people feel that they can’t. I hope your story helps more people out there dealing with something similar.

    February 4, 2017 at 10:04 am
  • Reply Annastasia

    We all really need to talk, we all seem to have the same stories. If only we shared then we would realise this.
    Annastasia recently posted…Clutter and depression, could there be a link?My Profile

    February 3, 2017 at 9:15 pm
  • Reply Emma

    This is such a brave post and I am so glad you got the help when you asked for it. I had PND and Post Natal Anxiety when I had my eldest and it was so overwhelming. I went to see a doctor and they sent a health visitor to see me a week later, but she told me I was fine and that was the end of it. I struggled on for nearly a year and then ended up having to pay a counsellor to work through it.
    Emma recently posted…“Those grubby looking kids over there? Yeah they’re mine!”My Profile

    February 3, 2017 at 8:01 pm
  • Reply Cathryn - Little Paper Swans

    Yes it’s definitely something that needs to be talked about more. Thank you for sharing your story.

    February 3, 2017 at 11:18 am
  • Reply Ana

    Thank you for sharing your story and I understand people need to open up about mental health there are people out there struggling and all they want if someone to listen and not suffer alone.

    February 3, 2017 at 10:37 am
  • Reply fashionandstylepolice

    Good more and more people are talking about mental health. It needs to be discussed.
    fashionandstylepolice recently posted…Turn Your Passion for Beauty into a CareerMy Profile

    February 3, 2017 at 9:58 am
  • Reply Lyndsey O'Halloran

    I’ve just come to terms with the fact that I have PND and have just started to talk about it on my own blog.
    Lyndsey O’Halloran recently posted…Clothes for Comfort from ChumsMy Profile

    February 2, 2017 at 8:41 pm
  • Reply tots2travel

    It’s such a difficult situation. Thanks for sharing.
    tots2travel recently posted…Family Friendly Places to Eat in Aberdeen/shire with KidsMy Profile

    February 2, 2017 at 5:03 pm
  • Reply Jo

    Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry you went through such a difficult time, but glad you got help and are sharing your experiences to help others 🙂

    February 2, 2017 at 2:26 pm
  • Reply Jon Gutteridge

    Couldn’t agree more! People need to feel they can be FAR more open when it mental health issues.
    Jon Gutteridge recently posted…Trying to get a decent work life balanceMy Profile

    February 2, 2017 at 1:26 pm
  • Reply Jen

    I totally agree that people need to talk more openly about mental health. We don’t worry about talking about other health problems in general, so why should it differ for mental health? It isn’t something to hide.

    February 2, 2017 at 12:18 pm
  • Reply Rhian Westbury

    Too many people don’t feel they can reach out as they feel alone. My best friends partner was going through severe depression and sadly he didn’t feel he could continue but no one even knew he was suffering as he didn’t talk about it x
    Rhian Westbury recently posted…Brand New Natural Skincare DiscoveryMy Profile

    February 2, 2017 at 9:54 am
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