Will is now 9 1/2 I can’t believe he is soon to be 10. Parenting is a very steep learning curve, no mater how many books you read everyone has their own unique journey. Every stage while enjoyable can also be very difficult. I may not have the sleepless nights with Will anymore but we have a new challenge we need to deal with. I’ve found myself telling him recently, I’m not your best friend I’m your mum.
He’s growing up
Will is growing up into the most amazing young man, gone is the boy who looked at me in awe and believed everything I said. Now we have questions that need serious explanations, we talk about more grown up topics. When he doesn’t like something or doesn’t want to do something he’s not going to sit on a ‘naughty step’ anymore. He wants to know why I want him to do this, why he should behave is a particular way, why he can’t do what he wants to do. He’s learning to find his own path, he’s taking more responsibility at home and at school, and he’s getting to the stage where hormones are kicking in.
What’s my job as his mum
First of all my job is to love him, more than he will ever understand at the moment. My job is also to teach him and help him grow into a good, honest, smart, intelligent, reliable man. Not only am I raising my son I am raising someones, future friend, boyfriend, husband, father. It’s my job to teach him the things he needs and to show him how to behave and grow up with the right values.
I’m not his best friend
I’m not his best friend let’s face it, he know’s I’m the boss. We are so similar in character and that often leads to us butting heads, especially if we both want the last word! He is pushing boundaries, he’s learning what he can get away with at the moment. He’s works as hard as I do, with school, homework, sports and extra activities. He gets tried and he will act out, you try telling off a child that’s nearly as tall as you. What he needs whether he likes it or not is boundaries and discipline. He does get told off, things get taken away – I always follow through on a threat. There will be shouting and he tells me he hates me and I’m the worst mother in the world.
And do you know what thats OK. Sometimes me being the worst mother in the world is what he needs. Eventually he’ll calm down and we’ll talk about things. I will explain that I try and do my best and teach him the right things, why he can’t do what he wants and why we have rules. You see it is not the “Will show”, he is part of a family and we all have to work together to help each other out.
Are we getting this right
No not all the time is the simple answer. Sometimes I am way to harsh and snappy, sometimes I let him get away with things he really shouldn’t. What’s important is that we are learning this together, I want him to know;
- I may not be his best friend and tell him what he always wants to hear but I am always there.
- He can come and talk to me about anything and everything.
- I will love him no matter what.
- I will always be honest with him, if he’s messed up I’m going to tell him that, but I’ll also help him make it right.
- If I tell him no and prevent him from doing something it’s in his best interest – we’re working on this one!
My parenting journey with Ben is completely different to Will. I hope that I can be the mum they both need as we move into the more challenging years. By the time Darcey gets to her teenage years I’m hoping they will be giving Gin out on prescription!