A very strange week this week, going back to work after maternity leave. This is not a post I would usually write as I try to be really positive on the blog but this is a weird week for me. So rather than a fancy title I’m going with, Pain Sucks.
Those of you who follow the blog will know I’ve had 3 spinal surgeries and still struggle with pain on a daily basis. When you have a permanent problem or are in chronic pain it really is something you need to learn to live with and accept. You can’t let it control your life or it will consume you.
Just because it’s invisible it still exists
If you see someone with a broken leg, arm or a visible disability then you can clearly see they may need help. You will take any adjustments into account, move out of their way, offer to help. However so much of the time the problem is invisible. You can’t see I have a spinal problem, there are so many people out there with ‘invisible’ illnesses. Now I don’t want to walk around with a sign on my neck saying ‘special person’ but you know what, sometimes I could just do with a bit more help.
Also as with quite a few illnesses it doesn’t just hurt where the main injury is. My lumber spine is the problem area however this week my glutes and thighs are hurting. My shoulders feel like they are touching my ears, which in turn has hurt my neck and given me a rather strange sensation in my hands.
I’ve gone back to work this week sitting at a desk and being in one place hasn’t really helped with my back. I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself, which is what prompted me to write this post. It’s crazy that something as simple as sitting down more can cause so much discomfort. Mind you I’ve put my back out before simply picking a glass of water up off the floor!
So for tonight I’m letting myself be grumpy. My poor husband has had an ear bashing about absolutely nothing, well he asked me to put sugar on the shopping list. I’m going to lie on the sofa, with a hot water bottle. I’ve taken a handful of painkillers, all prescribed and the right dose! And for tonight I’m going to eat both chocolate and ice cream.
Tomorrow is another day, a good nights rest will help and I will be less grumpy in the morning.