It’s been very quiet on the blog lately, I haven’t posted anything in over a month. In truth I’ve been struggling to find my feet as a new mum again, something that I wasn’t really prepared for third time around. There’s a big age gap between my youngest and Darcey, 7 years, and I can safely say I’d forgotten the whole baby stage.
Over the last few years I’ve had a lot of time to myself. Whist I was recovering from back surgery I was alone at home, when back at work I often worked at home alone. I actually quite like my own company and value that ‘me time’. I think I’d become quiet selfish before Darcey was born.
I’ve been struggling to find ‘me’ again since she was born and I’ve only had about 5 hours away from her during the daytime since she arrived in January. Although when she’s not with me I’m worrying about her and wish I was with her.
Having a new baby seems to have consumed everything about me and I just wish I had just a few hours every now and then to pop out and do something like get my hair cut or go shopping. I’m not sure if it’s wrong to feel like this can anyone else relate?
It’s not even like she’s a difficult baby although we do have the odd screaming day when I can’t put her down to even get a drink or something to eat. On the whole she is amazing and so much easier than her brothers were.
I started feeling like this around the time I stopped expressing milk for her. Maybe it’s down to the change in hormones now I’m no longer feeding. Or maybe it’s because I now have the option of leaving her if I wanted too as she has a bottle.
So whilst I’ve been feeling pretty sorry for myself and down in the dumps I really haven’t felt like blogging. In the evenings I’ve been so tired that I’ve just slumped in front of the TV and watched rubbish.
Anyway the sun is now finally shinning and I need to get myself out of this rut and start thinking a bit more positively. We’ve got lots of fun things to look forward to over the summer and I need to make the most of my time at home. Before I know it my maternity leave will be over and it will be back to work.