Rewarding Good Behaviour

Over the years with the boys I’ve tried many different ways to get them to behave reward their good behaviour. When they were little reward sticker charts worked really well, but they’re a bit big for that now.

Now the boys are 7 & 8 it’s all about the money for them. They see so much advertised on TV or want more expensive toys now. We want to teach them how to save for things that they want but I also don’t want to start giving them weekly pocket money just for the sake of it, giving them the impression they’re entitled to it.

Instead we’ve developed a house point system, 1 house point = 10p. They can earn house points for doing all sorts of things around the house or at school for example;

  • putting washing away
  • helping with dinner
  • getting ready for school/bed without fighting
  • getting all they’re spellings right at school
  • achieving in sports

Due to my back condition they do help out a lot around the house and it also feels right that they should be rewarded for doing all these little jobs.

It also works the other way round as well, if they are badly behaved, fighting or answering me back then they will get a warning and if they continue then they loose house points. This is really effective for us as they are past the stage of being able to sit them on the naughty step or make empty threats, they will call my bluff!

Until this week I’ve been writing the house points on the chalk board and at the end of each week we cash them in and put the money in their wallets for them to save up for whatever they want. The boys are really competitive so always try to outdo each other to get the most house points each week. In 2015 they saved up for a whole year to go on holiday to America, with all their Birthday and Christmas money as well they had enough to buy an ipad each.

This week I’ve modified the system slightly, instead of writing house points on a board, adding and deducting numbers during the week, I’ve decided to use real money. I went to the bank and got £20 worth of 10p and £1 coins. I took the boys to the supermarket and bought them a small kilner jar each and explained the new rules.


From now on when they earn house points I will give them 10p per point and together we will put them in their jar. However when they are badly behaved and loose a house point then they will need to go to the jar and take out 10p for every house point they’ve lost and give it back to me. At the end of the month we will then count up the money in their jars and they can put it in their wallets.

I’m hoping that this will have more impact on them as it is actual money in their hands rather than a number on the board. They are much more excited about putting the money in their jars and I’ve only had to take one house point away this week and it was given back begrudgingly, so I think I’m making my point.

I know the boys are only 7 & 8 but I think it’s important to start teaching them that they need to earn their pocket money. They do need to help out around the house and take some responsibility for small things, like tidying their bedrooms or cleaning up after themselves. This is a great way for them to feel appreciated as well, I try not to say ‘if you do this you get a house point’. Instead I take the approach of ‘well done you’ve really helped or been really nice so I’d like to give you a house point’.

What reward systems do you use with your kids?

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  • Reply acornishmum

    Ha this is pretty much identical to what we do in our house, including the money jars! Great minds think alike 🙂 It really does work, especially when there’s something in particular that they want to save for.

    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x

    February 18, 2016 at 8:09 am
  • Reply Mother of 3

    It’s a wonderful idea! We really don’t use much in the way of a reward system but I have been looking for SOMETHING to try.

    February 16, 2016 at 12:08 pm
  • Reply dadblogukJohn Adams

    Our reward system is a little all over the place. We do the Kilner jar with our eldest. Stamps on the back of the hand work well with our youngest. That said, using Netflix and avoiding all those dreadful adverts works well for avoiding demands for money! #twinklytuesday

    February 16, 2016 at 7:20 am
  • Reply Megan Bidmead (@whispertoroar)

    Really like this idea. I will bear it in mind for the future. It’s good, too, because it teaches them about earning money and working hard for things x

    February 13, 2016 at 11:41 am
  • Reply hopes, dreams and chocolate

    Thanks for sharing your system. Its a great idea. I have a nearly 6 year old who is generally very good but is starting to show some ‘attitude’ and I have been struggling to think of ways to encourage the better behaviour. This could be a good start! Kathy xx #PicknMix

    February 12, 2016 at 4:50 pm
  • Reply Oana

    Brilliant idea, Lisa, I will give this a go with Emma as she is old enough to help around the house but many times she has no motivation too, lo.xx

    February 12, 2016 at 1:05 pm
  • Reply fritha

    I was thinking the other day about starting a pocket money reward system with Wilf (4) in return for him doing little chores but I’m not sure if he’s too young x

    February 12, 2016 at 11:54 am
    • Reply Lisa

      I think they get it really quickly especially if it’s tangible. My friend used to keep a box of little toys or sweets, pocket money stuff and her kids could exchange house points for something out of the box when they had enough xx

      February 12, 2016 at 3:05 pm
  • Reply Jess Powell (Babi a Fi)

    I think this is a great idea – being able to actually see the money build up sounds like a real incentive! I’ve got a while yet before pocket money becomes an issue but I’ve already been reading lots of advice on it! 🙂 x #coolmumclub

    February 11, 2016 at 5:12 pm
  • Reply motherhoodtherealdeal

    I’ve been thinking about doing something like this and love the system of house points…thank you for the idea! and for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely x

    February 11, 2016 at 3:18 pm
  • Reply wendy

    Brilliant idea! I bet it works really well.y boy is 2 and a half so a bit too young to care about money but I thinking of introducing a sticker chart soon. How amazing your boys were able to save for holiday and buy an iPad. Wish I was good at saving! 🙂 xx #coolmumclub

    February 11, 2016 at 9:26 am
  • Reply Michaela Britton

    What a great idea. We do give pocket money but the amount is based on their behaviour during the week x

    February 10, 2016 at 2:33 pm
  • Reply Janine

    Thats a really good idea. My 2 are only 3 1/2 and 1 so I haven’t put anything place yet because he doesn’t really know what money is but I’m planning to do something similar.

    February 10, 2016 at 10:37 am
  • Reply Viki

    That is such a cool idea. Will try to remember this method when my little ones older x

    February 9, 2016 at 8:35 pm
  • Reply PinkOddy

    Best of luck. See I don’t want to go down the money route but I hope it is effective for you.

    February 9, 2016 at 2:01 pm
  • Reply Zoe Alicia

    I love that you call them House Points! And I think taking money when they behave badly is also very important. Great post x

    February 8, 2016 at 10:24 pm
  • Reply becky

    This is a great idea! I will definitely try this with my eldest. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    February 8, 2016 at 10:06 pm
  • Reply Rachel

    Intriguing – I haven’t given much thought to a reward system yet. My daughter is only 3 so one hasn’t seemed necessary but I do like the idea of the kilner jars and earning some money for household chores.

    February 8, 2016 at 8:24 pm
  • Reply Pamela | Life With Munchers

    Genius idea! My 4 year old still is at that age where she loves to help, but I’ll defo use this when that starts to fade x

    February 8, 2016 at 12:44 pm
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